If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
