turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
