why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
