When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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