We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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