i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
