FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
