We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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