I think I am morally bankrupt
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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