so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
