Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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