respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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