I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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