Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize