so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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