i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
