WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
