ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
