How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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