Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
