I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
