Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
