It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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