i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize