I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
