wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize