i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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