Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
