What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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