he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Panties = found
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