I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
