She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
