He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
