oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
