I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Come on in and take your pants off
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