how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
