I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize