i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize