You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
