well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
