saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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