I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
