Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
