at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize