It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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