Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
