arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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