Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
