First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You ruined the universe
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
