I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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