If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
