Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize