Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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