Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
