Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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