There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
