The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
